The Umpteenth Journal Attempt (Version III)

After yesterday’s attempt at deciphering my lack of love life through Tickle.com, today I thought I’d have a go on another test of theirs. This time I tried the True Talent test, because I was curious as to whether or not I’m actually good at something else other than writing and translating. Not that I’m saying I’m actually good at writing and translating; I’m probably decent, as best.

Basically, this test was like one of those IQ tests like you did in school or when applying for whatever job you have now. In other words, it was a bunch of multiple-choice questions that are meant to test various aspects of your mental skills. There’s an awful lot of maths, which sucks for me because I’ve lost about 90 percent of my Maths skills. Calculators make you lazy and dumb.

Here are the results:

Your ability to visualize objects in three-dimensional space gives you a unique view of the world. Because of this talent, you are much better than most people at imagining new designs including floor plans, page layouts, and three dimensional objects.

And that’s just a small part of what we know about you from your test results. You also have other hidden talents that can have a dramatic effect on your career, your life and how other people see you.

To find out those "other hidden talents," I would have to shell out some dough to have a full report sent. So…nah. I’ll just be content with a look on my face that says, "Are you sure?" Because from the way they put it, I probably should’ve been an architect - but I can’t see how I could be an architect considering my deep disinterest for physics, maths and what-have-you. Plus the test questions that deal with spatial skills were a piece of piss, so obviously I had an easier time with those. Looks like I have a lot of head scratching to do.

Was feeling masochistic today and decided to seek out the wisdom of Tickle.com to crack that eternal mystery: "Why Are You Still Single?" After being interrogated by means of 20 questions both factual and hypothetical, here’s what they came up with:

"You, more than others, have a fairy tale fantasy of how things should be. Ever since you were a kid, you’ve probably dreamed of the perfect wedding, coming home to a white picket fence, dog, and 2.2 kids (how does that work, anyway?). When someone asks what you’re looking for, you don’t skip a beat: You’re likely to have a handy checklist that details your perfect partner. Hair and eye color, height, religion, education, career, interests, the list goes on.

While it’s great to have standards — Hey, you shouldn’t have to settle, after all — there’s one slight glitch in your master plan: No one has made the grade in real life — at least not yet. Next time you’re out with someone, keep yourself from mentally checking that list, and give love — and others — a chance. That special someone who you’ve written off may be perfect for you after all…"

Tell me something I don’t know. Shit, I could’ve told myself that without the 20-question grilling. Of course, you could also argue that I’m single because I’m the one who keeps flunking the checklists. I don’t believe that’s necessarily true, otherwise I probably would’ve hung myself years ago. However, it does suck to think that I haven’t been good enough for whoever I’ve felt would be good enough for me. So I’ll stop being masochistic and try not to think about it.

Aksara Records & Prambors 102.2 FM present:

The Launch Of MESIN WAKTU: TEMAN-TEMAN MENYANYIKAN LAGU NAIF

Taman Ria Senayan, April 25th 2007 starts at 17.00-22.00

With: The Adams, The Brandals, Couple, Fable, Karon N Roll, Media Distorsi, The Monophones, SORE, Superglad, Tika, White Shoes & The Couples Company..and also NAIF!

Tiket masuk bisa didapat dengan cara:
1. Mobile Ticket, caranya ketik MESINWAKTU dan kirim ke 7898 (khusus untuk member REG AKSARA) lalu tunjukkan hp kamu pada petugas di pintu masuk.

Kamu belum menjadi member REG AKSARA? Buruan gabung! Ketik REG (spasi) AKSARA dan kirim ke 7898 dan dapatkan keuntungan seperti info-info menarik seputar Aksara Records, wallpaper, ringtones, video, dll. Tarif Rp 2.000,-/sms.

Untuk berhenti berlangganan, ketik UNREG (spasi) AKSARA

2. Tunjukkan pula CD atau kaset album Mesin Waktu: Teman-Teman Menyanyikan Lagu Naif kepada petugas di pintu masuk.

Dan jangan lupa membawa uang lebih…karena akan banyak merchandise yang akan dijual disana (cd,kaset,kaos,dll)
Sampai berjumpa di Mesin Waktu!

I wasn’t awake when 2007 came around 22 or so hours ago, having fallen asleep in front of the TV after catching a re-run of Spider-Man 2. A bit of a lame way to greet the new year, but then again I’ve never really been a New Year’s Eve junkie. In fact, last year I was also in front of the TV, catching a riveting Liverpool-West Bromwich Albion match. Actually it wasn’t really riveting at all, what with the Reds just nicking it by one-nil against a lowly West Brom side who ended up getting relegated by the end of the season.

But then again, I watched that match from the comfort of my hotel room, 14 floors above downtown Kuala Lumpur and vibrating from the fireworks going off all around. You may be wondering why on earth would I travel all the way to another country only to be alone in my room when the festivities went off, but that’s a story for another time. But even if I did tell you the tale, you’d still conclude that I was lame. Oh well.

Regardless of my lameness, that night in KL was pretty much a sign of things to come throughout 2006, which I think was a rather awesome year for me. Highlights include seeing and meeting my high school heroes Oasis in Singapore, interviewing Chris Martin and watching Coldplay in the same country a few months later, and going to Tokyo for the Summer Sonic festival where I got to see and meet a few bands, including Muse and Arctic Monkeys. On the local front, the anti-social being I consider myself has made a lot of friends in the music scene, listened to a lot of good music and tried to promote said good music to anyone with half-decent taste. The rest are all Radja-loving lost causes. Incidentally, I hope I’ve made friends with people who actually think I’m a decent guy, and not just because I’m in a position to help promote their music. That would suck.

Honestly, I don’t know how I’m going to top all that in 2007. Probably best not to think about it too much, because a lot of what happened last year sort of fell into place for me. The opportunities arose and I grabbed them, that’s all. If 2007 is half as lucky as 2006, then I’ll consider that a job well done.

I suppose if there’s anything that would make 2007 kick 2006’s ass, it would be me finally sorting out the lack of any meaningful relationship in my life.  I think I’ve made some significant developments on that front over the past year, short of actually managing to have someone to call mine. There have been a lot of emotional growing pains and disappointments, but the fact that I haven’t given up on the L word entirely and decided to become celibate for life should indicate that I’ve evolved into a much stronger person, and I think I’ve fine-tuned how I’m going to approach the crazy little game they call romance for this year.

It may just work out, or it may just blow up in my face and make me crawl back into my shell of solitude. Whatever happens, at least I’ll have the TV to keep me company when 2008 arrives, and I can go through this crap all over again.

You probably have one of those friends whom you used to be reasonably close to, but as time went by you drifted apart and rarely saw and spoke to each other, if at all. And you probably have a mutual friend who has kept in touch with both parties, so when you meet that mutual friend, you ask how your old AWOL friend is doing.

The above is a normal occurrence in life, and since I still consider myself somewhat normal - though others may beg to differ - I have experienced something of the sort. I accept that a lot of things change as you enter different phases of your life, but if you’re the type of person who considers friendships worth maintaining in spite of growing distance, then you try to keep in touch with your friends, even if it’s only via text message or e-mail.

I’m one of those people. I do my best to remember birthdays or take advantage of those nifty birthday reminders you find online. Text messaging has become the medium of choice, be it to congratulate them on getting older or to wish them a happy Idul Fitri, or whatever it is. It’s a miniscule gesture, but I think it’s better than nothing. By that token, I don’t really expect them to respond, but it’s nice if they do.

Having said that, there’s this one person whom I’ve sent text messages for their birthday and Idul Fitri, and got no response each time. I recall trying to call them when arranging to get the old gang together, but they never picked up or called me back. Though I wonder if something’s wrong, I usually don’t try to push it and find out what’s up directly from the source. If they’ve got something to say, then they’ll say it.

But then you bump into someone whom you know has recently been in contact with them, and you get curious as to what’s up. From our mutual friend, I’ve learned that my old friend, who used to be the laid-back, happy-go-lucky type is now an independent, focused careerist who has little-to-no time for trivial pursuits such as social interaction. Well, maybe it’s not that extreme; obviously they still have some friends, but it seems the rest can all take a hike, present company included.

Which is rather depressing, I have to admit. And I can’t really get my head around deliberately cutting out most of the people from your past. As far as I know, I don’t do that, unless I’ve had a reason to chuck someone out of my life - and even then they somehow find their way back in. I’m just a sentimental sucker, I guess, unlike my hardened old friend out there somewhere. But hey, it’s their life to live, and if that’s the way they want to live it, then more power to them. If they get the urge to call, I’ll pick up.

All of this has made me think about how my life has turned out over the last two years or so in terms of friendships and relationships. And it occurs to me that I’m not that far off from my old friend there. Maybe not in terms of cutting people out of my life, but definitely when it comes to forming emotional attachments to people, especially of the opposite sex. I’ve become a lot more cynical in the relationship department - most likely a by-product of having gone through the emotional wringer too many times to count. I’m erecting all sorts of metaphorical walls and defence mechanisms so I can easily kill any feelings for the wrong people to develop feelings for. Everyone disappoints you sooner or later, so I guess it’s just a matter of finding someone who disappoints you the least, and everyone else can sod off. Maybe my old friend came to the same conclusion.

…to my brother Hanief and his wife Evit, who just had their second child - and second son - earlier today at 13:30, Singapore time. The newborn - still to be named as I write this, or they just haven’t told me yet - weighs in at 3.1 kilograms and his length is 49 cm. You might be amused to learn that the baby now shares the same birthday with his mother and Rizqi, his brother who’s three years old today. Hanief has always been a bit of a perfectionist, but this is a bit on the ridiculous side.

Anyway, congratulations to the happy family, and hopefully the latest arrival will be adequately protected from the evils of delinquency circa 2016. And of course this means the pressure has just intensified for me to get my act together and follow suit…

Click here to see the teaser trailer for Jalanan, the upcoming documentary by debut film-maker Daniel Ziv, whom you might remember from books such as Jakarta Inside Out and Bangkok Inside Out. Daniel and I go back a few years; in fact, you can blame him for giving me my first writing gig with djakarta! way back in 2001 and deluding myself into thinking that people would want to read stuff I come with. (Though the fact that you’re reading this right now means the joke’s on you, pal. Hee hee.)

Anyway, Daniel describes Jalanan as a "musical documentary." Here’s the synopsis:

JALANAN explores modern-day Jakarta at street level through the lives and distinctive subculture of the city’s gifted bus musicians. The film is an intimate portrayal of the buskers and their individual struggles and aspirations, and also a raw, humorous, often shocking portrait of Indonesia’s bustling capital city.

Personally, I’ve always admired Daniel’s passion for observing urban life. I daresay he knows more about what goes on in Jakarta than people who’ve spent their entire lives in the city. It’s probably his outsider’s perspective that finds fascination in all sorts of things that we take for granted. And if his books are any indication, this documentary won’t be a patronising snooze-fest, but an entertaining, thought-provoking and heartfelt work of art.

He’s still putting the finishing touches on it, and if everything goes to plan, it should be out by the end of the year or early 2007. The website is www.jalanan.org, which isn’t online yet, but should be soon.

… http://www.myspace.com/hasief and http://quasievil.multiply.com .

Now, it may seem easy to operate. And it is - once you figure it out. But like I said earlier, I’m a primitive goon, and I could not get the thing to work at first. After emptying out my bladder, I tried pressing the button and turning the knob, but nothing happened. I tried looking at the instructions on the back of the toilet cover, but they didn’t help.

lThe instructions were useful in letting me know how not to destroy the toilet, but did not help in enlightening me in the ways of cleaning the chassis. So I kept pressing the button and turning the knob, but to no avail. But then I put the toilet seat down, pressed again…nothing. While contemplating, I accidentally pushed down on the toilet seat…and what do you know, a small pipe emerged facing upwards (naturally) and out streamed a jet of water. Unfortunately, I was not in the position of someone about to use that pipe, and I had already put my trousers back in their proper position after taking a whiz. And so my trousers ended up getting sprayed in the crotch area, making it look like I had just peed myself.

So that was Japan for me, summed up in a nutshell - or should I say, summed up in a fancy toilet. Actually, my office toilet has one of those arse-cleaning spray things, and all you have to do is turn a tap. Or you could use the spray gun and aim blindly. Both of these options are much more simpler, if you’re willing to use a little more energy. But I suppose Japan wouldn’t be where they are now if they settled for keeping things simple - toilets included.